Lecture on the Seven Stage of Global Catastrophe

LIGHTS UP

Stage One: Innocence

1. Even long before any of you were born, there were things called ‘clouds,’ things called ‘birds,’ and things called ‘horizons.’ [Fig. 1]

2. Ignorant of the architecture of the underworld, we lived only on the surface. [Fig. 2]

3. We used maps not to chart the physical identity of the surface of the earth but rather to chart the distance between one group of warring people and another. [Fig. 3]

4. Our gods were gods of the imagination, with imagined powers and imagined weapons. [Fig. 4]

5. At times, we longed for a greater sense of certainty about death, and birth. [Fig. 5]

6. We used various methods in an attempt to bring order to our lives. [Fig. 6]

7. Used, for instance, machines and charts; ultimately, these methods left us feeling confused, and tired. [Fig. 7]

8. We believed in circles and in orbits, but none of us had ever seen them firsthand; at times the universe seemed exactly as organized as soap bubbles. [Fig. 8]

9. There were rumors of billboards alongside deserted highways with the truth written on them in large sparkling Las Vegas letters. [Fig. 9]

10. There were rumors that evil had arrived from the East; we saw evidence of evil; but only the trees knew the truth. [Fig. 10]

11. With breathtaking precision, our scientists investigated the intersection between life and death, yet somehow the results were not quite satisfying. [Fig. 11]

12. Still we longed for a greater sense of certainty about birth, and death. [Fig. 12]

13. Because we wanted the dead to keep us company, we began to call it the Day of the Dead. [Fig. 13]

14. There were rumors that the truth had been written in clean and simple lines on an Etch-A-Sketch belonging to one of our daughters, but already she had shaken it. [Fig. 14]

15. Increasingly, our own objects forgot what they were supposed to be. [Fig. 15]

16. With breathtaking precision, our scientists charted the flight patterns of fireflies. [Fig. 16]

17. Beautiful but useless symmetries were found elsewhere. [Fig. 17]

Stage Two: Chaos

18. We became incapable of picturing our anatomical hearts. [Fig. 18]

19. “Why are you bleeding?” the bleeding woman was asked. “Because I got distracted by the beautiful shape of green.” [Fig. 19]

20. Our children skipped on the sidewalks, singing “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back,” and our backs broke. [Fig. 20]

21. Our objects began to take things into their own hands, but we wanted to have an old-fashioned Christmas, with stockings hanging above the fireplace. [Fig. 21]

22. We searched for a roaring fireplace. [Fig. 22]

23. One young man, who had been disfigured in an unjust war, believed there was something to be said for standing between two mirrors and becoming infinite. [Fig. 23]

24. Our wise children flew in airplanes to countries we’d never heard of; grinning, we denied that we were dismayed. [Fig. 24]

25. Even our rats experimented with leaving us. [Fig. 25]

26. Meticulously, our scientists researched the issue of where one thing ends and where the other begins. [Fig. 26]

27. We went to the wedding of some strangers; meanwhile, 37 women died in an explosion. [Fig. 27]

28. We fought at the breakfast table. [Fig. 28]

29. Our objects became increasingly irresponsible. [Fig. 29]

30. Our children informed us that in Brazil chaos is considered a virtue. [Fig. 30]

31. Life is difficult for anyone who loves anyone else, the fortune cookie said. [Fig. 31]

32. Someone wrote a sad book called The Book of Chaos; calling collect, our daughters explained to us that it is a funny book. [Fig. 32]

33. If someone had given us even the slightest indication, we would have built an arc, an arc with room for everything, absolutely everything. [Fig. 33]

Stage Three: Invisibility

34. Rectangular footprints indicate rectangular soul, the fortune cookie said, misinterpreting the brick wall. [Fig. 34]

35. The fortune cookie sighed and curled up into itself. [Fig. 35]

36. We realized our house and everything in it had become invisible. [Fig. 36]

37. Our souls became rectangular, the product of our infinite longing for straight lines and right angles. [Fig. 37]

38. A single object arrived in our invisible mailbox; that object was an invisible building. [Fig. 38]

39. We gave up certain ecstatic dreams we had nurtured for a long time. [Fig. 39]

40. No one had any appetite anymore. [Fig. 40]

41. Our new home was only 98% invisible. [Fig. 41]

42. There were rumors that someone knew something. [Fig. 42]

43. It seemed possible that everyone else feared the future less than we did. [Fig. 43]

44. We hired a new architect; she arranged aluminum cans to illustrate her point; we ran away. [Fig. 44]

45. The objects of our children forgot our children. [Fig. 45]

46. Suddenly remembering what had been lost, we attempted to fly away from ourselves. [Fig. 46]

47. We developed new compassion for Eve; we sent her a packet of rose-seeds in the mail. [Fig. 47]

48. We did not do laundry for nine months; our clothing disappeared; our washing machine disappeared; we still had a window and some soap bubbles. [Fig. 48]

Stage Four: Optimism

49. But then we discovered that someone did know something. [Fig. 49]

50. Certain transformations occurred, and the familiar shapes of our bodies became unfamiliar. [Fig. 50]

51. The objects of the world ceased to be invisible, and reclaimed the lines that had once defined them; we rejoiced in the horizontal nature of the horizon. [Fig. 51]

52. We were happy to see physical books reassembling themselves on invisible shelves; however, their pages were all blank. [Fig. 52]

53. At times, we managed to convince ourselves that freedom was near at hand. [Fig. 53]

54. We counted our blessings. [Fig. 54]

55. We discovered new and better ways to move through the world. [Fig. 55]

56. We wondered if by reincarnating every aluminum can we used we might pave the way for the reincarnation of other things, such as ourselves. [Fig. 56]

57. There were lines everywhere, and useful, beautiful symmetries emerged. [Fig. 57]

58. Still, words eluded us. [Fig. 58]

59. Now, our maps charted borders rather than the distance between two warring peoples. [Fig. 59]

60. Our children considered returning home. [Fig. 60]

61. We delighted in the objects around us. [Fig. 61]

62. We speculated that perhaps, in light of certain symmetries, words were not necessary after all. [Fig. 62]

63. We discovered newer and even better ways of moving through the world. [Fig. 63]

64. Things began to make sense. [Fig. 64]

65. We taught ourselves how to make wishes come true by throwing money into fountains. [Fig. 65]

66. Still, some objects were disobedient. [Fig. 66]

67. Our children arrived home, bringing chaos with them, but at least they were no longer invisible. [Fig. 67]

68. It was a time of extravagance, and belief. [Fig. 68]

69. Making do with what we had, we attempted to create the kind of Christmas we’d been longing for. [Fig. 69]

70. Our children had other, sadder ideas. [Fig. 70]

71. Still our meticulous scientists labored over their graphs. [Fig. 71]

72. But they disappointed us. [Fig. 72]

Stage Five: Despair

73. Once again, everything disappeared. [Fig. 73]

74. There were rumors of temples, but no one knew if they were powerful or unpowerful temples, or if they were rising out of trees or clouds. [Fig. 74]

75. For the first time, we perceived that chaos lived inside invisibility and vice versa; there was no vehicle that could take us even an inch. [Fig. 75]

76. We got confused, and had sex. [Fig. 76]

77. Everywhere we went, everything we saw drifted in and out of being; poor Audrey Hepburn disappeared from the face of the earth. [Fig. 77]

78. We dreamed of a more perfect existence. [Fig. 78]

79. We wanted to build something with our own two hands. [Fig. 79]

80. Eve sent us a letter, thanking us for the rose seeds but confessing that her problems persisted. [Fig. 80]

81. We tried desperately to recall a story we’d once heard about two old people who lived a happy and imperfect life on a lake somewhere, drinking beer and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, surrounded by objects that did not vanish. [Fig. 81]

82. There were rumors that the rain was falling in patterns that meant something. [Fig. 82]

83. There were rumors that some people knew something that we didn’t know, and that some other people knew something those people didn’t know. [Fig. 83]

84. We managed to fashion a trap, but no one could tell us what we were supposed to catch. [Fig. 84]

85. Our meticulous scientists came to a number of incorrect conclusions regarding the issue of where one thing begins and where the other ends. [Fig. 85]

86. We, too, wanted to be in possession of a secret. [Fig. 86]

87. The Queen came for a visit, but we disappointed her. [Fig. 87]

88. Soon enough, even our diplomats did not have telephones or windows. [Fig. 88]

89. We tried very, very hard. [Fig. 89]

Stage Six: Hope

90. We found what looked like a treasure in the yard. [Fig. 90]

91. A child said, What is the grass? fetching it to us with full hands. [Fig. 91]

92. We built a very small and very hopeful arc. [Fig. 92]

93. Our meticulous scientists passed out charts explaining everything; we used them as rolling paper for our cigarettes. [Fig. 93]

94. We promised not to be nostalgic. [Fig. 94]

95. On the ocean, in the moonlight, we learned certain astonishing facts. [Fig. 95]

96. Lying back in the arc, looking down at the glow-in-the-dark fishes, we wondered about the fifth dimension. [Fig. 96]

97. We recalled certain inexplicable hardships. [Fig. 97]

98. We missed our children. [Fig. 98]

99. We started a rumor that the stars were telling important stories, but the rumor never left the arc. [Fig. 99]

100. Even though we were somewhat happy, we could not sleep, for we had become invisible yet again, and we never ever ever slept after that. [Fig. 100]

Stage Seven: Wakefulness

BLANK WHITE SCREEN FOR 5 SECONDS: THEN-

LIGHTS DOWN